Random Musings:Why I'm Still Single...


Hey Beautiful Peeps,

I recently watched a great video on the topic of dating from one of my favorite bloggers Ulovemegz. Her chat about why she's still single was both hilarious and spot on click here to see the full video.

I found myself agreeing the whole video, here are two of the points that stood out to me.

I'm not looking to date without a view to marriage....

This may seem extreme to some or even silly for others that don't subscribe to matrimony, but for me it makes sense. At this time I know that I'm personally enjoying the single life and not looking to seriously date without the idea of settling down, and to me dating just to date isn't my thing. I hear tons of super drama filled stories about friends relationships and I can't lie though it may seem nice to have someone to just hang with from time to time, the stress free vibe I feel is far more important to me. When I do get a desire to settle down I plan on dating with the view of looking for a life partner, but until then I'm living my best life without one.

I'm working on me....

There's a ton of quotes, self-help books, and more access to therapist now than ever before. Doing the work though is still not easy and it can't just stop at posting a quote. Often we can be so focused on finding someone else but we don't even know who we are. I've had the benefit of seeing others both family and friends live out relationships that ended and gotten a lot of feedback from them. The takeaway they share is that post relationship they've began investing in themselves socially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to be a better person. Being a whole person allows you to be able to successfully navigate a healthy relationship. Also its okay to take time to get to know and develop yourself. I was recently listening to a great podcast and it had Demetria Lucas as a guest she made a great point that many times women get caught in a cycle of pursing a man, trying to be pursued by a man, trying to keep the man happy, etc. and that people are often stumped when she says she's intentionally single and focused on herself and her career at this time even jumping to the conclusion that she must not be interested in men at all (sigh). That just highlights the pressure society imposes on us to make us think everything is contingent on having and being in a relationship. That put simply is not true and so much can be accomplished while being single. Working on yourself while single can create an even better foundation if and or when you decide to be in a relationship.

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